Day 646
In the twenty or so months that I have been sober from sexually acting out, I've had a lot of calls, texts, and emails from and to other addicts for accountability, checking-in, and socializing. I've talked to guys that were doing well, as well as those struggling or slipping since the last time we spoke. But it was always in the context of the program and recovery.
Last night I received an email that was different. This one was from a man I've never met or heard of. He is a complete stranger, and he was reaching out for help. Actually, he never used the 'help' words; he was just telling me how tired he is of trying to fight his porn addiction. He inferred that he wanted help. I shared a little about how I found help and connection in the program, but that's not the reason for sharing this. It had been a long time since I'd heard that tone of terror. Hearing from this friend-in-waiting reminded me of how long it had been since I spoke in those tones myself. I can't say that I had forgotten how terrified I was at the thought of having to ask for help, but I had forgotten enough that this email reminded me. I do not want to forget, and I certainly want to remember that feeling of contrasting where I was with where I am. My heart is breaking for the author of that email, but I am grateful for the encouragement he inadvertently presented to me. And I am thankful for the help and encouragement that is waiting for him if he'll reach out to a group for support and accountability.
–JR
Comments