Day 647
I have always marveled at how some people could live their lives in well-defined compartments; work here, faith over there, and love somewhere else. I have often advocated through written and spoken words that we need to look at how we interact with the world around us more holistically. So many people have different values for each of their compartments that it just seemed obvious to me that the potential for conflicts and living life as a hypocrite were very strong. But there I was in a public life of piety, and a private life of fantasy, lust, and the inevitable crossing of the road into sexual misbehaviors. Unfortunately, I think I proved my point. Being able to put my life back together with my spiritual values interacting with my professional values and both of those interacting with my intimate values is a real challenge, but not near as difficult as living with them separately. I am tired of trying to figure out who needs to hear what from me just so I can make someone else happy at my own expense. Through the 12 Steps, I am truly learning to be more of who I am, and less of who I think people want me to be.
–JR
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