Day 413
The first time I remember being confronted with the relationship between my inner expectations and the way I viewed the behavior of others came when I was nearly 40 years old. A seminar leader asked for examples of the most challenging people for which we ever worked. After waxing humorously and critically for several minutes about this guy's phone abuse and laying out what was easily my best illustration, the instructor cut me off and asked,
"Does all that say more about your boss or more about you."
That question was profoundly embarrassing and insightful for me and may have been an early gift in preparing for my recovery work. I still weary of so much inner searching for reasons and causes, but I also respect those moments of clarity that have come my way in that process.
I still think there's a lot of BS in the psycho-babble world, but there's also a lot of healing to be had, and I suspect it's different for each person. So I continue to value the things I learn and try to balance that against those things I've yet to apply.
It's a journey and a struggle that I am grateful to have an opportunity to navigate.
–JR
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