Day 173
My confusions about the past — and the future — sometimes overwhelm me and make it very difficult to stay focused on what I need to be doing in the present. My regrets about the things I've done get all knotted-up with my anxieties about consequences not yet paid and fears surrounding my sobriety.
This conflict is not acceptable. I cannot be working my program one day at a time if I'm living in the past and worrying about the future. How can that be so obviously true and still so difficult to embrace into my nature?
This issue is perhaps central to my leaning into the people in 12 Step meetings. These are people strengthened by success as well as by their failures. These are people that have it all figured out, including the fact that none of them have it all figured out. I am becoming one of them, or perhaps beginning to accept that I am already one of them.
–JR
Gotta know who's got your back
Because they're right in front of you
Because they're telling you the truth
So much present, inside my present
Inside my present so, so much past
–Feist, "Past in Present"
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