Day 200
I read a devotion today that suggests the difference between living in the past and being present in the present is rigorous honesty.
Yesterday I was dealing with the painful consequences of more lies that I have perpetuated about the details of my acting out. These were details that I held back — or lied about — to protect my wife, or so I had been telling myself. I made that comment to my sponsor, and he called "bullshit" on me. "You're still trying to protect your image and avoid your pain; don't put your lies on the shield of some chivalry!"
It isn't easy to come to terms with how little control I have, yet how much control I still have that I must give up.
I really can't live in the present until I have released the past into the hands of God and the clutches of Truth.
–JR
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