Day 359
For most of my life (I now realize), so much of what I did to “take care of myself” led me down the path toward acting-out and salving pain with artificial balms. Right now, I’m having trouble differentiating between working on me vs. working on my addiction.
I assume that healing my brain from years of wrong thinking is good for me eventually, and maybe that’s the best I can expect right now. Perhaps it’s the same thing as taking care of me. Will it just gradually evolve into something a little less intense or therapy-like, and a little more like living a healthy life? Will it include helping others instead of using and abusing them? I have as much to learn on this subject as anything I’m working on.
I suspect that getting beyond the moment of crisis requires a bit more understanding that I actually deserve to take care of myself. If that’s true, then I still have a ways to go for a better view.
Working on my addiction right now seems far more like surviving, maybe even growing, than it does a time of earned rewards of any sort.
–JR
And I've been taking care of business, every day,
Taking care of business, every way.
I've been taking care of business, it's all mine.
Taking care of business and working overtime.
–Bachman-Turner Overdrive, ”Takin' Care of Business"
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