Day 371
It was a common observation during my acting out that I had not left God (aside from my immoral behavior), and He had certainly not left me. It was a contradiction I could never explain, but reading and hearing others talk about addiction's spiritual nature helps me understand where the battles were being fought.
While I grieved the damage to my spiritual life, there developed distinct atrophy in my 'relationship' with God and my spiritual self's externals. Frankly, that is a conclusion that I can see now much better than I could define then. As I'm awakening to both renewed and returning spirituality, it is clearer how atrophied my non-physical muscles had become.
This awakening is part of the recovery promises that I didn't think applied to me, but here it is. I am grateful.
–JR
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