Day 329
Having boundaries is one of those things that I’ve encouraged for other people many times, but have never really felt compelled to exercise myself. Maybe it was because I didn’t think my opinions about such things were valuable. It may have been because I was arrogant enough to think I needed no boundaries; I could do whatever people needed me to do, so why not leave the door open all the time? Either way, I have a history of being way out of balance in letting others decide my daily directions.
I don’t know that I’m doing a lot of work on that right now, but I have had a few occasions when I did lay down a boundary, or maybe just didn’t cross one, and I have noticed those self-affirming moments that I did not expect. I’m reluctant to call it a new sense of self-respect, but I can see where it could become that.
There is also a risk of this becoming a self-centered path that could disrespect others around me, so — again — it’s about that mysterious balance in all areas of recovery. Except, there is no balance between acting out and recovery; there is only recovery. It may be laced with slips and failures, but therein lies the balance within the constant of the recovery commitment.
–JR
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