Day 353
As important as it has become to be faithful and rigorous in my recovery, it is hard not to want to educate others, to change the way the world looks at this. Every cell of my brain warns me that this is me — or at least the former image-controlled me — wanting to be the good-guy that puts himself at risk for principles and others.
But every cell has a flip-side that warns me of the dangers and even stupidity of trying to explain this to people who are not ready to hear it. That's in addition to the danger of increasing the risk to my own sobriety by trying to be the same guy that got me here. This struggle is a sad reality of that. Perhaps it's also evidence of some growth in me that I can see this risk and balance the pros and cons.
I do not know how to end world hunger, but I can feed a hungry person. I do not know how to bring about world peace, but I can be kind to a stranger. I do not know how to educate the world about my own sex addiction, let along the disease as a whole, but I can support my fellows in recovery and be radically honest with my wife. At least those are attainable acts I can accomplish, but there is still work to be done.
–JR
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