Day 615
One of the concerns I have with sharing my story with anyone is the inference that I have a pearl of particular wisdom or insight into this sexual addiction thing. On the other hand, I do not know why I would invest the time in such if I didn't think the insights I've gained from my journey could have value to someone else. My goal is therefore not to suggest solutions, but rather to add my voice to the chorus that came before me, and to those walking with me.
I love listening to a good jazz band taking turns riffing between the members. The spontaneity and unexpected notes are usually a beautiful thing. Sometimes that's what SAA meetings feel like to me; a big band gathered for a common goal of being lifted by each other through diverse views, paths, and hopes. I am constantly encouraged by the sharing from people that I did not think would have anything to offer me. I am often humbled to in turn share those moments when a fellow strikes a chord in the heart of my thoughts.
There is strength in knowing I am not alone. I do not know that I add to that group strength in sharing my thoughts, but it helps me to be in the choir, regardless of whether anyone remembers any of the noise I may make.
This calmness is new to me. Being the smartest guy in the room has been a part of my persona for most of my life, and now I go to these meetings multiple times a week, and I know I'm never close to being the intelligent one. Maybe I never was.
–JR
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