Day 263
Given my abuse of alone time the past few years, how do I learn to be safe when I'm by myself, and without freaking out? I do understand from hearing the stories of others that this is often a big problem. For me — right now — there is still more solace in being alone. It’s still easier. It’s not more pleasant or desirable, but it doesn’t scare me either. I suspect that day will come, and in a way, I welcome it inasmuch as I want to want to be busy with other people in healthy interactions. However, I’ll take a related but different lesson from today’s thoughts. It’s like the sign on the wall in the counselor’s office:
You already know the answer.
No, I’m not looking for answers as to what to do, as much as I’m searching for the courage to implement the answers I’m already holding. The courage to be the father that cares more for his children than he does his image; that cares more for his wife than he does his pride and preferences; that cares more for honesty than avoiding conflict. The “answers” are not always all that hard.
–JR
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