Day 296
I've recently recalled memories from my acting out years that suggest I thought the world owed me. It was my time to do what I wanted, and to hell with everybody else. The idea that it's my turn, or that I just need to win, because of some perceived loss or wrong against me... Well, maybe that is, in fact, saying the same thing in a different way. The more I ponder this, the more overwhelming it becomes. I don't want this to be a significant driver in explaining the bad things I've done, but I don't want to ignore it, either. I don't feel driven by anger, and I don't want to be that vindictive sombitch, but I don't want to be an addict either. So this goes into my pile of things to contemplate and observe where it might fit. Today, I will be content with that.
–JR
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