Day 314
The Answers in the Heart meditation for this date refers to an artist's ability to see life with "a delighted eye." What a great description of how a painter conveys imagery from their passions to the canvas. I think It's nearly the opposite of how an addict — at least this addict — sees life when it's out of control. This visual touches me deeply in the context of my artist-wife. My life partner has been hurt terribly by what I've done, yet she seems to look at me with a delighted eye even now, maybe even more. Perhaps I'm not so much of a blank canvas with unlimited potential for something worth seeing, as I am an older painting with flaws, a canvas ready to be re-imagined with new layers of colors and depths. When the new work is finished, and along the way, while it is being re-crafted, the natural flows and blemished textures of what was will become part of the background and build-up of what will be. And the final product at the end of my days will be a better version, overlaying that which no longer needed to exist as a single, shallow dimension. I rely on my wife's delighted eye and the wisdom of her prayers; she helps me believe in the value of what's left of me and the me I will be because she can see more through her delightful eyes than just the mistakes I have made. This is a remarkable gift that will be passed on through people we meet to people we will never know.
–JR
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