Day 484
The idea that a sex addict would use sex to mask pain — especially the pain that is exacerbated by that same sexual behavior — is a difficult concept, especially for a loved one trying to understand.
I've wished for a different description for what I've done — who I am — because it just doesn't feel like it was about sex. Yet, every time I turned around, I was doing something driven by the idea that any physical connection with any woman would solve all my problems. I knew it was wrong, and I knew nothing good was going to come from it, and still, I did it. And again, it doesn't feel like it was about sex.
Am I in denial about some significant missing piece, or am I working on the real problem which does go far beyond sex?
Maybe both.
–JR
And we drown out the pain using sex like Novocaine
And we hide inside ourselves
Using everything, using everyone, we run until we're done
But I'm done running
–Michael Dodge Björkman, ”I'm Done Running"
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