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Writer's pictureJohn S

October 17 • Worse & Better

Day 465


This journey seems simultaneously ridiculous in the stringent tasks of recovery and the freedoms that come from the fellowships and the newly acquired honesties in life.


I am often overwhelmed with the daily requirements of rewiring my brain and fighting my addict. But when I take a day off from working it, I'm often much more at the end of me and frightened by the tragedy I see coming at me again if I allow the little things back in. I am fortunate to be where I am in recovery, and I am grateful for the opportunity to fight this fight. It is making me a new person.


I am becoming far less perfect than I always thought I was in the daylight and a far better man than the one I thought I wanted to be.


–JR

 

Help me to see, I'm better than I thought I was

Set me free oh

There's no safety this time,

I fall apart and it figures,

It's just the way I've always been,


–Sleeping with Sirens, ”Captain Tyin Knots vs. Mr. Walkway (No Way)"

 

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