Day 432
My career, and perhaps my life, has been filled with big visions and plans, but they were all accompanied by little belief. Oh, I believed plenty in my ability to lead the parade into extraordinary places. I just never really knew how to make it happen behind me, so I never really believed the greatness would happen.
So I put on a good show, said the right things, and waited for God to intervene on my road to stardom. Or maybe that should be 'stardumb.'
Today I am easing, albeit kicking and screaming, through the program Steps, into an attitude of understanding the difference between contentment and lack-of-dreams. I am gaining situational peace while also understanding better the importance of dreams.
Yes, it has the potential for many internal conflicts, but that seems to be the balance I'm heading toward and the balance I need. I've long avoided directional disputes of all sorts, inside and outside, and I am becoming less afraid.
This progress is a process, but I am no longer alone in learning to be better. From my fellows to my wife to my Higher Power, I have the support that will help me, if I let it.
I will.
–JR
Comments