Day 447
It was never a problem for me that I lived by different rules than everyone else. It helped define me. I don't think I thought of myself as better than others, but certainly different. I was in a class by myself, and when the wheels started coming off, I thought I was the only one with the tools to get me under control. I was so unique in my qualities and my defects that no one could understand my struggles.
In case you missed my tone in that last sentence, that was sarcasm; one of the most humbling, even embarrassing, aspects of my recovery is how unique I was NOT. When I started looking for help, I could read about my actions and thoughts in any book on sex addiction, and I heard my narrative from so many fellows as they shared their stories in meetings.
Now I'm no more special or unique than the dozen or so men sitting around the tables and starting every comment with, "I'm John, and I'm a sex addict..." What a blessing!.
–JR
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