Walking & Talking

As a sex addict, and perhaps it's the same for most addicts, multitasking has not been a great skill during my times of acting-out. For me, walking and chewing bubblegum was tough as I was so focused on treating my pain and living in the moment of relief. As I attempt to walk Recovery Road, 12 Steps at a time, I'm also trying to talk about my journey in meetings and print.

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We have one purpose here:

Providing a safe place for sharing journeys and encouragements for those wishing to recover from sexual addiction. 

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These posts are mostly from my daily journal. I find that these writings have been a critical part of my finding and addressing important issues on which I need to work.​

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When the first 400 of these meditations (or whatever you want to call them) were originally written, there was no expectation that they would ever see the light of day. They were personal, often painful, and always private. On March 7, JR first wrote in his journal about the possibility of a bigger picture:

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“Watching my insides spill out onto a page has always fascinated me; this new challenge will be to let a new 'undefended honesty' flow through me in a way that is productive to more than my recovery. If I can somehow use this experience, or let the experience use me for the betterment of fellow pilgrims, that would be an added bonus to recovery. I don't believe that this can be a goal, because I don't trust my addict to allow that without controlling me in negative ways, but I do pray that helping others can be a result of all this pain and struggle.”

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Nearly all of the writings here are JR's original expressions. Exceptions to this will be noted in the text and linked when appropriate. 

Each post page includes a number that represents the length of my sobriety. For example, the first post on Jan 1 was written on Day 176. I had been in recovery, attending meetings, and going to counseling for more than 300 days on that date, but the world had turned only 176 times since my last acting-out behavior.

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While we have some hope of raising enough support to cover the expenses of running this site and future community features, this effort is mostly an outpouring of gratitude for the help JR received from his fellow addicts, and an attempt to give back to those in recovery, and those still searching for it.

Your comments and suggestions regarding anything you find on this website are welcome.

This project is not certified by anyone as a source of short answers or specifics on how to get well. The main content is simply the sharing of one man's journey. Content that comes from you and others should be in that same realm; we believe common experiences can lead to uncommon successes.

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Some of these posts address my thoughts on the pros and cons of counting each day and what behaviors would cause a reset in my count. I include the counter here as a reminder to myself that this all happens one day at a time. And if I should slip, I will reset the counter on these pages as I would in a 12-Step meeting, and I will be open with you about those circumstances. However, I don't plan to slip, not today.

You are welcome to join me on this journey as I try to speak with a minimum of tripping. 

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My Journal...

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